When it comes to communicating with women, not long ago it was the stone age… all we had were telephone calls and face-to-face.
But here’s what’s even scarier…
Today, with text, email, Instagram, and whatever that new killer app is that’s about to change the world, it’s become insanely easy to communicate with a woman anywhere, any time.
But with great power comes great responsibility… in the hands of a clueless guy, these tools become weapons of mass destruction. They’re effortless and “at-a-distance,” so some men see them as an open invitation to unleash their worst instincts and attraction-killing behaviors…
… and it’s never more true than when it comes to TEXTING.
This in mind, here are my 8 simple rules for using texting to amplify attraction and save yourself from certain technological disaster with women…
Simple Rules For Texting A Woman
Rule #1: Keep It Light
Shakespeare said that brevity is the soul of wit… he would have been a MASTER texter.
Short humor shows intelligence and creativity. Mix in some cockiness, and it instantly comes across as the kind of CONFIDENCE that a great woman who gets a thousand texts a day from desperate guys will find VERY attractive.
Use texts to deliver Cocky & Funny in small doses that stoke a woman’s interest and keep her wanting more. Check in with,“Stop dreaming about me.” Or, “I checked my calendar, I can make some time for you.” Or, “Wondering what I’m wearing?”
Above all, know that texting is NOT a low-risk way to spill your guts, share your deepest feelings, or wax poetic. By nature, it’s a light, nimble medium… so use it that way.
Rule #2: Keep It Short
Want to make a woman dread hearing from you? Send her long texts.
Nevermind that long messages often arrive as a jumbled mess due to the whims of data pipes… MUCH worse is that a “long” message almost always equals a boring, desperate, or emotional message… so go back and SEE RULE #1.
Also, long texts also make a woman feel like she “owes” you an in-depth response. But, unless she’s already feeling major attraction for you, she’s not going to waste precious time out of her busy, in-demand life to give you one.
Not gonna happen.
Rule #3: Use Texts To Take Control Of The Chemistry
Texting is one of the best ways to take control with a woman in a way that’s sure to make her sit up, take notice, and feel that spark of attraction.
Tell her, “Okay, this is where I can meet you,” or “Here’s what I have planned” or “This is where I’ll be, join me if you want,” and you’re instantly communicating confidence in a way that’s VERY attractive… and practically effortless.
Even better, your directness and brevity imply that you’re too busy to play games or chase her. She instinctively feels that you’ll just move on to the next thing if she doesn’t make an effort to pin you down and keep you for herself.
Rule #4: Don’t Keep Her Waiting (& Keep Her Waiting)
You always hear that you should wait to follow-up with a woman. And, in a lot of cases, that’s true… like we talked about, you want to come across as a man who’s busy and has options in life.
But, with texts, it’s been my experience that if you text her back sooner, it’s much easier to keep the spark and energy in the conversation. If you wait too long with texts, the trail goes cold fast.
I know this goes against the general rule, but texting is different for its conversational nature and its immediacy – and you need to capitalize on that.
Now that I’ve said that, let me contradict myself.
It is CRUCIAL that you never come across as “too available” or, even worse, DESPERATE.
So once in awhile, don’t answer her for several hours, or even a day. It’s important to transmit the message clearly that you HAVE A LIFE, and that you’re not sitting around waiting for her to contact you.
Rule #5: Hold The Emoji
Do I really have to say it? Don’t use those sickeningly cute emoji when texting a woman you’re just getting to know or just started dating. It completely blows the air of mature control and confidence you want to communicate at the beginning.
As things progress and texting becomes more your natural way of communicating, then feel free to sprinkle them in.
But, even then, don’t go overboard. That’s just cheesy.
Rule #6: Don’t Use Texting As A Security Blanket
There’s no better way to make a woman dread your next ping than using texting to check in, touch base, and make sure she’s “still interested.”
In fact, if you’re using texting as a way to feel “reassured” with a woman, you’re doomed to blow it with her, no matter how short, Cocky & Funny, and fun your texts are.
So limit yourself to 5 texts a day, not counting BRIEF responses to her texts to you. You can string them together or spread them out, but remember: it’s always 5 and out.
Rule #7: Don’t Use Texts To Set Up Another Date
What should you never text a woman about after a first date?
The SECOND date.
Texting a woman to ask her for another date either makes her think you don’t have the confidence to talk about it face-to-face. Or, it makes a woman think, ““Eww…this guy is so desperate, I wish I could change my number.”
So save your talk about another date for a REAL conversation later.
And, even then, DON’T ask her for the date at all. Instead say something like: “It was fun hanging out with you. You really seem cool. Let’s get together again this week. I’m free for a couple hours Tuesday afternoon…”
Rule #8: Having Second Thoughts? Don’t Text At All
Pay close attention… this rule runs deeper than all of the others, and here’s why:
This one is all about where you are right now in terms of your chances of succeeding with women.
The rule itself couldn’t be more simple: if you don’t feel totally confident about talking to a woman in person, don’t use text as an easy substitute. Your hesitation means you still have underlying issues that will show up (and totally sabotage you) no matter how you communicate with a woman, be it text, email, whatever.
So hold up. Put your thumbs away for now.
If you’re not feeling confident about your interactions with women, even a perfectly crafted text has a good chance of backfiring on you.